faith – A Woman Standing

You Never Know

Nearly a year ago, I received a phone call from an old coworker and friend I had not spoken to for several years. It had been so long I was surprised to see their name pop up on my caller ID.

The conversation began lighthearted, with lots of details about all the ways our lives had changed since we last saw one another, but soon the individual began telling me about frustrations and disappointments they had been dealing with, from work to personal life. We ended up talking for over an hour. Eventually, I asked if I could pray for them.

Over the past year we have text back and forth a couple times and had one or two short phone calls. Several days ago they text me asking if we could catch up so we set up a phone call for the following day.

Like any call, we started by just talking about our lives, but the individual soon told me they wanted to talk because they had something to tell me.

“When I called you a year ago, I was in a bad place,” they said. “The Lord put it on my heart to call you,” they paused. “I feel like I can tell you this now since I am in a much better place, but that day I called you I had multiple thoughts of suicide.”

Faith And Delivery

While talking with a friend this morning about faith, words came out of my mouth I had never thought before:

“Faith is like giving birth.”

Even while the words left my lips I thought, “what the heck does that even mean?” God, fortunately, gave me clarity.

Most women, including myself, get to a point in the delivery room when they think, or say out loud in my case, I just can’t do this anymore!

Overwhelming

This morning, I received the link to a sermon of one of my clients preaching at a church near me with a comment on how good the teaching was.

This made me start thinking about my client and all I have seen “firsthand” while working for his ministry as a communications contractor. The more I thought about all I have seen, heard, witnessed, and experienced, the more astounded I became at how much God can do with one individual when that person lets go of all limitations and allows God to truly be all He can be in our lives.

In just 20 years, God took this man from an on the road preacher, visiting small mountain towns and hardly bringing in enough money to pay the bills, to a globally known teacher who gives away millions of dollars every year.

How? The man stopped placing limitations on the Lord.

I Believe

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is the individuality of our relationship with the Lord and how none of us can condemn someone else based off of what they do, or do not, believe when it comes to the Word.

One of my clients is a global Ministry. They believe in what many would call “extreme” Christian beliefs, such as speaking in tongues, baptism of the Holy Spirit, supernatural healing, God led prosperity, even, dare I say, raising dead back to life. Many claim them to be a cult and the media absolutely loves to diminish and demean everything about them.

I also have others in my life who don’t believe in any of these things. Who believe God is a creator, but that is the extend of His relationship with His children. They claim prayer makes us feel good, but the fulfillment of prayer is completely up to God. God may choose to listen and provide, or He may not, the decision belongs to Him alone.

The Power Of Our Words

Sometimes, God shows us just how powerful our words are and how important it is to cover every aspect of our lives in prayer.

Recently, my husband, who owns his own company, has had an awful experience with one of his sub-contractors. The project his company has been working on since May, one of the biggest projects they’ve done so far, was supposed to be finalized by June 21. Unfortunately, the sub-contractor was unable to provide the promised materials by the agreed upon date, so the project was pushed back 5 days, then 7, 10, 15…finally, the sub-contractor said they will not be able to provide the materials until sometime in August!

Clearly, this has caused stress for my husband, and myself. This project was more than just one single job, it was the beginning of multiple opportunities with the client, a very valuable, and influential, resource in the industry my husband works in. Since my husband is the primary contractor it’s his name on the line and his company is the one suffering and whose name has been tarnished. To be weeks late has truly been devastating.

The Lord Healed Me!

As I have written before, I’m currently pregnant with my first child, a healthy little girl. Although I am overwhelmingly grateful for this blessing and love this baby fully, pregnancy for me has been, for lack of a better word, a challenge.

Instead of getting into all the symptoms I’ve faced and the emotional roller coaster those symptoms have taken me on, I’ll just focus on the most recent one.

For the past four weeks I have been battling some sort of eye infection/allergic reaction/allergy that has resulted in the area around my upper and lower eyelids to be bright red, swollen, itchy and flaky. For weeks I have looked like I’ve just stepped out of a bout in the boxing ring, a bout I clearly lost.

Being a strong proponent of natural remedies, because I truly believe if the devil brought something into this world God has a natural way to heal it, I tried all the therapies I could think of – ice, heat, coconut oil, olive oil, cucumber slices, potatoe slices, honey, stopped eating gluten, stayed away from dairy, changed my makeup, got rid of my pillow, switched toothpastes and deodorant etc, but nothing was making a dent. I am not a fan of western medicine (although I must say I do have several wonderful people in my life who are doctors and nurses), but I finally set up a consultation with a doctor after talking to the nurse at my prenatal clinic.

Simple

We live in a very complex and confusing world. What was once right is now wrong and what was once truth is now purely opinion. Different perspectives and beliefs bombard us on all fronts making it difficult to know what to believe, say, think. This bombardment of false information and new “truths” has complicated things to such a degree it is truly overwhelming.

Lately, I have been faced with frustrations and disappointments, resulting in my attitude not being what it should be. I was shorter than usual and found myself getting annoyed with even the smallest things. I realized something was off but just didn’t know how to deal with it. One morning in prayer, I asked God to help me, for Him to send me to a verse that I could stand on and make my own. I opened my bible and sure enough God took me exactly where I needed to go. I began reading the verses He gave me every day and since then everything has been – simple.

My attitude is lighter, my perspective is cheerful and my overall view on life and all that is happening around me is far more optimistic.

One More Lap

I have had many conversations with different people who are all experiencing the same thing: a frustration with the waiting. Waiting for a career change, waiting for an answered prayer, waiting for their special someone, waiting for the door to open, waiting, waiting, waiting for God to move.

Yesterday, while talking to a friend about this topic, I said something that struck me so much that I have been thinking about it ever since:

Sometimes, God needs us to take another lap around the desert before we are ready to go into our promised land.

You see, God isn’t going to let us walk into a land we are not ready for, even though we may feel like we’ve been ready for a long time. The Israelites had a year long journey from Egypt to Canaan. God had them take a longer route in order to purge them of everything Egypt had tainted them with. When they arrived, Egypt was still very much in them, and they weren’t ready to enter. They felt ready, believed they were ready, wanted to go in and eat of the fruit, but God told them no, therefore they walked around the desert for an additional 40 years.

Desire For My Daughter

Today, on my birthday, I was told “God’s greatest gift lives within you”. I am currently pregnant with my first child, a baby girl. Although there are many years between us, there are so many things I would like her to know, to experience, to run with through life. So, below are the desires I have for my daughter:

Know you are loved. Not only by your father and me, but by the Creator of the Universe. You were placed on this earth for a purpose, a destiny, a Heavenly call. You are known by the One who spoke the world into existence, who told the mountains to rise, the valleys to go deep, the oceans to wave, the trees to sway, and the sun the shine. Your name is always on His mind.

Know you are worthy. The world may tell you you aren’t “enough”; pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, but your Father believed you were more than enough for Him to give His most precious gift. He gave it all for you, He sacrificed His heart so you could spend eternity with Him. So, no matter what the world may tell you, know you, simply you, were worth the Son sacrificing Himself so you may live.

It Is Finished

[Repost]

The weight of the Lord’s sacrifice does not escape me. I feel it now as I
sit here. He gave everything for us, for me, people He did not yet know but
already loved, loved enough to hand over the most important thing in not only
the world, but in all the universes and all the worlds, in all the ages and all
the eras.

When Adam and Eve fell, God watched the fall from Heaven, His heart falling
alongside them. How could they do it, He probably wondered. I
created them to be above all, yet they desired to be beneath. They want the
world more than they want me. In a moment, He made a plan, for there only
was one way to get humanity out of the problem they created for themselves.

Continue reading “It Is Finished”

Revival?

As someone who would consider themselves a “Charismatic” Christian, I have always had an image of what I thought revival would resemble. In my mind, revival would, of course, include people coming to know the love of the Father and hundreds, thousands, millions, giving their lives to the Lord, but I also always assumed it would include what Charismatics like myself are used to: prophetic words being spoken, supernatural healings taking place, people falling under the weight of the Holy Spirit, new tongues flowing forth…

But, as I watched the Live Steam of the Asbury University Worship this morning, which has been going nonstop for nearly two weeks, a new reality of what revival would look like hit me. Perhaps, revival is simply placing God back in His rightful place as Lord and worshiping Him as our Father, Guide, Guard, Provider and God.

Enmity Between Thee

Yesterday, I read a story, which had an accompanying video, of a young female volleyball player who was seriously injured by a male transgender competitor during a volleyball match. The girl suffered, “severe head and neck injuries, resulting in long-term concussion symptoms, including vision problems.” This story hit home seeing as volleyball was a major part of my life for over a decade.

Volleyball, like sports for many people, was everything to me at one point in time. I lived, breathed, dreamed the sport, resulting in a full-ride Division I college scholarship. Post-college, I coached for a Division III University while achieving my master’s degree. To say volleyball was a big part of my life would be an understatement. The sport was a major aspect of my very identity for years.

I once wrote a post about not giving the devil one inch in your life, because when we give the enemy an inch he is never satisfied, he wants more, and more, and more until he controls every aspect of our lives. I believe this is exactly what we are seeing in regards to the devil consistently, and successfully, attacking women.

Identity Crisis

This morning, while listening to a short speech by Italy’s new PM, I realized satan’s recent strategy and all the current madness going on around us can be broken down into one very simple explanation: identity crisis.

What we are witnessing is a full-blown attack on our identities. It is now normalized to question our gender, our ethnicity, our sexual orientation. It’s gotten so bad that children are no longer seeing themselves as human but are now referring to themselves as “furries”, so even our species is in question. We belittle who we are, who were made to be, and accept a new identity based of what those in positions of power tell us to become.

What is now so evident is that this push to question who and what we are is 100% from the enemy.

Truth

It’s been over a year since I wrote anything. So much has happened since the last time I sat down to write in this blog, both in the world and in my own life.

Since my last post, I moved cross country for a job, got engaged, planned a wedding, moved back to DC, got married, started my own company, moved cross country (again), bought a house, and am just beginning to settle down a bit.

Sometimes, life seems to be passing at a pace I can hardly keep up with. My relationship with the Lord has often been put on the backburner throughout the past year. It seems there is just so much, too much, going on for me to know what to say to God when I sit down with Him in the morning.

My primary frustration and what has been increasingly bothering me is the spiritual attack on Truth.

Part Of The Two

Last Sunday, I heard a sermon discussing the Twelve spies of Israel going into and returning from the promised land, Canaan. Ten came back with an “evil” report, two returned with a report of faith. In Numbers 13, Caleb stood up and told the crowd God said they could take the land promised them, but the Ten responded with fear, ridicule and faithlessness. Unfortunately, Israel believed the report of the scared and deceived and paid a heavy price because of it.

What we witness in this story are the perspectives of two differing mentalities: the mentality of Egypt and the mentality of Canaan. The Ten had the eyes of Egyptians, placing other idols above God and refusing to believe their Lord had given them the sworn victory. The eyes of the Two were those of the land of Canaan, seeing only the promises of God and paying no attention to the threats of man.

What we are observing today is a similar contradiction.